When I was younger I always thought it was weird that everyone in Friends (the TV show in case you don’t like pop culture) would spend every Thanksgiving with each other and not with their families. Like, somehow, out of these six people none of them have family traditions or obligations they have to get to? Joey has a huge family! He has 6 sisters! I find it hard to believe he–

You know? This is so not what this post is supposed to be about.

But if you want, I will absolutely post a breakdown of the Friends dynamic and just analyze it waaay more than necessary.

To save on time, and because there is something stuck under my space bar, making this post really fuckin annoying to make, we will move on.

The point I was trying to make was that it is such a foreign idea that someone would not be with their family on Thanksgiving to me. But the older I get, the more it makes sense.

I no longer live at home, which makes travel kind of annoying. My brother is getting cozy with his lady partner, and went with her somewhere else (?) I think? My sister is in Africa. Like, no shit she isn’t going to make it home for the holidays.

It is sooo much more convenient to just spend some random weekend at home with my parents, eat a good meal, subtly inform my parents about world events by adding it to my “this year I am thankful for…” speech,  and not have to drive anywhere on the busiest travel weekend in America!

PLUS: I had the actual day of Thanksgiving off and was able to make myself a meal and eat all I want without my mother making thinly veiled comments about how much her children can fit in their bodies. Perks!

On another note, plan your fuckin meals ahead of time kids.

I went into the grocery store and it went something like this:

“Apples. Apples go good with stuff right?”
“I can’t eat an entire turkey. Don’t be absurd.”
–I then had to talk myself out of that challenge–
“What the fuck is a cornish hen? And how does one prepare it?”
“This is the TINIEST BIRD!”
“Can I make stuffing WITHOUT bread? Like, my tummy would probably love me a lot more if I cut down my bread intake by a thousand.”
“What even is stuffing without bread?”
“Is it like, just a bunch of sage and celery and shit?”
“Like a stir-fry?”
“Like a Thanksgiving stir-fry?”
“That sounds fucking weird.”
“I’m going to do it.”

I actually made a video of this, but apparently this format is not supported by this website, which is a bunch of bull honkey if you ask me. So you can click the below link:
shenanigans

Also, I was going to make this longer and kind of go over what I did and why it is important to TAKE THE GODDAMN STICKERS OFF THE APPLES BEFORE YOU PUT THEM IN A FRYING PAN FOR WHEN YOU LATER EAT A BIT OF IT.

But, like I said before, there is something stuck under my spacebar and it’s pissing me off. So you guys are stuck with my out of focus video. (I’m learning here)